It's Okay to Smile
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There may come a day when something makes you smile. Perhaps someone tells a funny story. Perhaps you laugh at a television programme. Perhaps you enjoy a meal with friends. And then, almost immediately, the guilt arrives. "Should I be laughing?" "Am I forgetting them?" "Does this mean I've stopped grieving?" If you've ever had those thoughts, you're not alone.
Smiling doesn't mean you've forgotten
When someone you love dies, it's easy to feel that being happy somehow means leaving them behind. It doesn't. Your love for them isn't measured by how sad you are. You can miss someone deeply and still find moments of happiness. The two can exist together.
Guilt is a common part of grief
Many bereaved people feel guilty when life begins to feel normal again. You may wonder if you're moving on too quickly. Or not grieving enough. Please remember this: Grief isn't a test. There is no scorecard. No one is measuring how often you cry or how often you smile.
They would want you to live
Think about the person you've lost. If they could speak to you now, would they want you to spend the rest of your life unable to smile? Or would they hope that, little by little, you found reasons to laugh again? Most of the people we love would want us to keep living. Not because they are forgotten.....but because they loved us too.
Joy doesn't replace love
A smile doesn't erase your memories. A laugh doesn't diminish your grief. A happy day doesn't mean you've stopped loving them. It simply means your heart has made room for more than one emotion. Love. Sadness. Gratitude. Hope. All can exist together.
Let yourself enjoy the good moments
When a good moment arrives...Take it. Don't apologise for it. Don't push it away. Grief will still be there tomorrow. But so, hopefully, will another reason to smile.