Looking after yourself
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Grief affects every part of your life .It can leave you feeling physically exhausted, emotionally drained and mentally overwhelmed. Even the simplest tasks, such as getting dressed, making a meal or answering the phone, can feel like a huge effort .If you're struggling, please remember that you're not failing. You're grieving.
Grief affects both your body and your mind
Many people are surprised by how physical grief can feel. You may experience:
- Extreme tiredness
- Difficulty sleeping
- Changes in appetite
- Headaches
- Aches and pains
- Difficulty concentrating
- Forgetfulness
- Feeling anxious or restless
- Feeling emotionally numb
These are common reactions to bereavement. Be patient with yourself as your body and mind adjust to your loss.
Take one day at a time
You don't have to plan weeks ahead. If today feels difficult, focus on today. Sometimes your biggest achievement may simply be:
- Getting out of bed.
- Having a shower.
- Eating breakfast.
- Walking to the shops.
- Replying to a message.
- Making yourself a cup of tea.
Those small achievements matter.
Try to look after your physical health
Grief can make it difficult to care about yourself. If you can, try to:
- Eat regular meals, even if they're small.
- Drink plenty of water.
- Get some fresh air each day.
- Rest when you're tired.
- Keep taking any prescribed medication.
- Attend medical appointments if you have them.
You don't have to do everything perfectly. Small steps are enough.
Accept help when it's offered
Many people feel they should cope on their own. You don't have to.
If someone offers to:
- Cook a meal
- Do your shopping
- Walk the dog
- Drive you somewhere
- Sit and have a cup of tea with you
consider accepting. People often want to help but don't know how. Allowing them to support you can help both of you.
Be kind to yourself
Grief can bring feelings of guilt. You may feel guilty because:
- You smiled today.
- You laughed.
- You enjoyed spending time with friends.
- You couldn't stop crying.
- You couldn't cry at all.
None of these feelings mean you're grieving incorrectly. There is no perfect way to grieve.
Avoid making major decisions if possible
In the early weeks and months after a bereavement, emotions can be overwhelming. If you can, try to delay major decisions such as:
- Moving house.
- Changing jobs.
- Making significant financial commitments.
Give yourself time to adjust before making life-changing choices.
Know when to ask for help
Sometimes grief can become so overwhelming that extra support is needed. Speak to your GP or a bereavement support organisation if you're finding it difficult to cope or if your grief is having a significant impact on your daily life .Asking for help is a sign of strength. You don't have to face grief alone.